Demon Sitting

Watching Frozen

Ty: more girls should punch boys off boats. Then maybe boys wouldn't be such jerks.

Me: if we did that boys would drown all the time.

Ty: well that's what they get

I have a seriously grumpy kid this morning. Can’t wait for Becky to leave so he drops the attitude. He used the F word on her this morning before I got here. Why is it one day with his parent can completely ruin him for a week?

Ty: Can we go and ride our 4Wheelers now?

Me: Is your room clean?

Ty: You can go check if you want. Just don't do it right now.

Me: OK I'll do it in 2 minutes.

Ty: How about 5 minutes? *Takes off running for his room*

Kayley twisted her ankle last night at cheer and thus we are stuck at home all day. Tyler has been up since 5AM. I just ordered pizza because our other options were french fries, frozen meatballs, peanut butter, and crackers. After lunch I can think of one child who will be napping. If only for my sanity. 

Have I mentioned that I’ve worked every day since the 28th. I’m not off again until next weekend. I have 2 days off, one “normal” day, then 6 days with nights before another normal 5 day. I’m fairly sure insanity is on the horizon. 

Breakfast with Kayley

Kayley: What is suicide?

Me: Its when you take your own life.

Kayley: What does that mean?

Me: You kill yourself.

Kayley: Why?

Me: A lot of different reasons. Mostly it comes down to a chemical imbalance in your brain. So things in your head don't communicate right and they make your think and believe things that aren't really true. They make you really sad. Sometimes they make you feel like the only way to feel better or to make everything stop is if you kill yourself.

Kayley: But we know how to fix that right?

Me: We have some ideas but its a work in progress. There are therapies, and medications. Different things work better for different people.

Kayley: And the commercial says to just call your doctor. If I was thinking about killing myself I'd go straight to the hospital.

Me: Just as long as you contact a doctor soon as possible. Its really important to tell someone, even if its just me or Mommy and Daddy.

Kayley: You've known someone like that before?

Me: I've known a lot of people like that. Some get help. Some don't. Some hurt themselves really badly. Some aren't alive anymore.

Kayley: Just because their brains are a little sick?

Me: Brains are very important. Even a little sick in your brain can do a lot of damage to the rest of you.

Kayley: We never have normal breakfast talks.

Me: We never have normal any time talks.

So Kayley discovered Trans today.

I’m trying to talk Ty into eating lunch, he was trying to talk me into losing my mind. Kayley was flipping through channels on the TV commenting occasionally, but mostly I wasn’t paying attention to her. Until I glance in and notice she’s watching a show where a woman is in a dr’s office with her robe open while the doctor checks her obviously screwed up boob job. I found out later the show was called Botched. 

Me: What on earth are you watching?

Kayley: She had surgery go wrong and this guy is fixing it.

Dr: This case was extra delicate as the patient was formally a man.

Kayley: Formerly a man? How can you used to be a man?

Me: Some people have sexual reassignment surgery and change genders.

Kayley: OH you mean like he was in an accident and lost his thing?

Me: No, having a penis doesn’t make  you a man and not having one doesn’t make you a woman. If I had cancer and had had to have my breasts removed would I become a man?

Kayley: No. That’d be silly.

Me: And your dogs they’ve been fixed. Is Theo less a boy dog now?

Kayley: No, he just can’t make babies.

Me: Exactly. Your body parts don’t make you a boy or a girl

Kayley: So why do people want to switch?

Me: Some times people are born in a body that doesn’t feel right. So after a lot of thought and talking to a lot of doctors, and doing a lot of research they have a surgery that changes them into what they want to be. That way their body does feel right or at least better.

Kayley: Am I not in the right body?

Me: I can’t tell you that. Only you know if your body is right for you. 

She was quiet and thought for a long moment about that.

Kayley: I think I like my body. I think I got the right one.

Me: Good. I’m glad to hear it.

Kayley: What do I do if one day I don’t like my body?

Me: You take a deep breath and you call me. We’ll talk about it until we come up with a plan. I promise you won’t always like your body. You’re getting to an age where your body is going to start changing a lot and you’re probably going to hate parts of you from time to time. So whenever you’re not liking something about you you’re to find me and we’ll figure out why you don’t like it and what to do about it. 

Kayley: Okay, but I never want surgery. That’s scary.

Me: It is. Its very brave of that woman to go through with the surgeries it takes to get the right body and to go on TV and let the world know about it. 

Kayley: So its okay to have the wrong body?

Me: Yeah, its okay to have the wrong body. Its okay to be afraid to admit it. Its okay to change it. Its okay not to change it. As long as you’re doing what you have to do to feel good in your skin its okay.

Kayley: I hope that lady had a grownup to tell her that when she was a little boy. I hope she didn’t have to get hurt a lot before she learned it.

Me: Me too. But mostly I just hope you and her never forget it. 

Kayley: If I do will you remind me?

Me: Always, kiddo. Now lets change the channel before you see something I Mommy has to explain.

My allergies are killing me and Kayley is watching an America’s Next Top Model. I’m pretty sure I’m in hell. I’m supposed to be headed to a cousin’s funeral instead.